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mcinn

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IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« on: April 27, 2016, 03:14:32 pm »
Let's share either some personal experience with inexperienced users (come on, tech support people!) or jokes we found online and thought were worth sharing!

Let me start:

Tech Support's guy favorite customer:

Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
Customer: "A computer."

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When the customer has no idea but doesn't want to give a wrong answer rightaway:

Tech Support: "Do you know what operating system you're on?"
Customer: "Hmmm...what would be a good answer?"

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A classic one:

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

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And another one:

Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!

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Do you ever go there?

Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.

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:D

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...

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The kid is probably into programming today...

Kid: Daddy, how was I born?
Dad: Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.


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mcinn

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2016, 03:23:35 pm »
Well, I'll be the first one to reply  ::) :

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

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sensadmin

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2016, 03:47:58 pm »
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted...



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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2016, 04:51:28 pm »
A programmer is going to the store.
His wife says "Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."
The guy comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
His wife says "Why did you get soooo much bread?"
He says, "They had eggs!"
« Last Edit: June 09, 2016, 10:49:31 am by Execute »

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2016, 12:02:36 pm »
Tech Support: "Do you have a valid backup?"
Client: "Yes, of course."
Tech Support: "When you came this morning, was anything printed out on the printer?"
Client: "Yes."
Tech Support: "And what did it say?"
Client: "Just like it says every day"
Tech Support: "Would you mind reading that off to me?"
Client: "Error XX: Backup Operation Failed."

:D

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2016, 11:04:59 am »
A person asked an IT specialist:
What does WINDOWS stand for?!

The IT specialist answered:
"Work is never done on Windows systems"...
« Last Edit: June 09, 2016, 10:50:13 am by Execute »

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2016, 10:38:03 am »
A system administrator has 2 problems:
  • dumb users
  • smart users
 :D

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2016, 10:24:37 am »
User: Siri, why am I alone?

Siri: *opens front facing camera*

 :D

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2016, 09:49:44 am »
Here's a story...

3 Database SQL walk into a NoSQL bar.  A little while later, they walk out...

...because they couldn't find a table!

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2016, 10:12:42 am »
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions
,

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology", says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help.
You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.
"

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2016, 11:25:06 am »
I was once living very actively - playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool.

But later somebody stole my PC and that was it...

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2016, 12:46:45 pm »
Internet forum rules :

1) Come
2) Ask something
3) Get banned
4) Go and Google it

 :D :D :D

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2016, 10:46:55 am »
A woman sends her husband an SMS on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband sends his answer: "Pour some warm water over them".
Later the husband receives an answer back from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked up right now..."

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2016, 11:17:59 am »
A presentator prepares to demonstrate the voice control of a computer.
- Silence, please, I will now demonstrate how easy voice control works.

A man from the back of the room shouts:
- Format: C. Enter.

 ;D ;D ;D

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Re: IT Jokes and Overall PC Stupidity
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2016, 12:20:31 pm »
"What a freaky query!"
- thought the database and stopped working...